MASOCHIST

There was a time
When we were young
And used to live in an orphanage
And had nothing to hold onto
Except each other.
Remember that time?
I don’t think so.

You were fragile
I supported you
Bore all your troubles
I was a sieve
And you, the vessel beneath me.
I got all the bad
And you got all the good
And you thought
You were the good in my bad
And I, the bad in your good.
But was it really true?
I don’t think so.

But that’s how you made me think.
Counted my flaws
When I concealed yours.
I know you baby.
Now I know you.
You loved me ’cause
I was useful to you
Or maybe it wasn’t love at all.
But having grown up
My well built body
Seems to be of no use to you
Now that you’ve got
That other girl to love
That slim, slender, svelte and chic.
Do you need me anymore?
I don’t think so.

You probably thought I was a masochist
Thought I could bear it all
Just like I bore your difficulties.
Thought I won’t feel hurt
Because I was strong enough.
Thought I won’t be affected
Because I loved to take that pain.
Yeah, maybe I was a masochist
To risk my life for you
To love you
To let you go with her.
Maybe I loved that pain, I muse
As I hit the sandbag
For what seems like the zillionth time.
Stripped knuckles, dripping sweat
And I still think about you
Gazing at my protruding muscles.
You are my best memory
And the worst one.
And now I lay exhausted
Rejoicing in my loneliness.
Yeah, now I believe I am a masochist
Still reminiscing you after all these years
When I know it will just hurt me.
Baby do you miss me the same?
Ha. I don’t think so.